一道 (ichi·dou)  

Church: Sergeant Johnson is as tough as they come. They say he’s as strong as an ox, and as agile as… a smaller ox.
Sarge: What?
Church: He moves like a whisper that you only say to the wind at midnight.
Simmons: Why would you do that. That doesn’t make any sense.
Church: He’s as cunning as a fox… taking a pottery class at a Ivy League university… that accepts foxes.
Grif: Wow, you’re not really good at analogies, are you.

—

“The Man, The Myth, The Legend,” from the Red vs. Blue Halo 3 ODST miniseries.

Best pottery classes in the nation.

Church: …the ship? Could we move her into one of those onboard computers?
Tex: If we set up a hardline, yeah, I bet we could do it.
Tucker: [comes running out of the base] Church, wait!
Church: Huh?
Tucker: [runs up] Church, hold on a second, I’ve got something to tell you!
Church: Tucker, what, what is it?
Tucker: I just wanted to say… I got a hardline Tex could use. Bow chicka bow wow.
Tex: How did you even hear that?
Tucker: Pfft, I’m like Superman, I know when I’m needed.

— Red vs. Blue, Season 5, Episode 92.

(Source: youtube.com)

Church: All right, look, let’s leave these two alone. Let ‘em do a little bonding.
Tucker: Hey, don’t leave me here with him! What am I supposed to say?
Caboose: Ask him if he likes baseball.
Church: It’s an alien baby, Caboose.
Caboose: Ask him if he likes t-ball!
Church: Alien, Caboose. Alien was the key word in that sentence.

—

Red vs. Blue, Season 5, Episode 84.

can you tell i rewatched season 5 today.

(Source: redvsblue.com)

Crunchbite: Blarg blarg honk, blarg blarg.
Caboose: What’s he saying now, Andy?
Andy: Look guy, if you want me to translate for ya, you can’t keep askin’ me every four seconds, what’s he sayin’ now Andy, what’s he sayin’ now? I’m gonna tell you what he’s sayin’, that’s my freakin’ job!
Caboose: That’s what he said? That’s a weird thing to say. Uh, tell him I said okay, I will not ask any more of uh… that and also, no.
Church: I think I need a translator just for Caboose.

— Red vs. Blue, season 4, episode 64.

(Source: redvsblue.com)

Church: Dead end, O’Malley. You’re just one big headache, and I’ve got a whole pistol full of aspirin.
Tex: What?
Church: I got half a mind to kill you…
Tex: That’s ridiculous.
Church: And the other half agrees.
Tex: Ugh, Church, that’s just stupid.
Church: You’re about to split…
Tex: God Church…
Church: Personality.
Tex: Now you’re just embarrassing yourself.

—

Red vs. Blue, Season 2, Episode 33.

Watching Season 2 today. Gotta love Church and Tex together.

(Source: redvsblue.com)